@Sarcasticsapien: The best thing about going on a date with a sarcastic person is that no matter what happens they're going to tell you they had a great time.
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@pleatedjeans: [doc pulls baby out of mom and immediately slides it under his shirt] oh no NOW I'M PREGNANT haha no [pulls it out] just kidding here you go
@Black__Elvis: Damn, baby got back. And front. And sides. Baby three-dimensional. This is a real baby.
@LisaMcAlister1: There's an opening for a scapegoat at our office. I think you'd be perfect for the job.
@emceej: Don't forget to smile today, but not that creepy smile that makes us all wonder how many bodies are buried in your yard.