@Dawn_M_: The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KevinFarzad: Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed
@HumorParasite: Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
@JennyPentland: I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'.