@Dawn_M_: The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
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@SuperApple8: If Ryan Gosling doesn't ask me to be his valentine, I'm moving on. This ship has sailed. This ball has sunk. This fart has flatulated.
@Keys_ToMe: I love to watch the look of panic on my husband's face when I pull a pair of panties out of my drawer and say, "um, these aren't mine."
@Underchilde: My boss caught me sleeping on the job and told me to clean out my desk as if he didn’t just see how lazy I am.
@Quartzjixler: I requested the number 867-5309 from my cellular provider because I like being annoyed to the point of rage.