@SteveStockmanTX: The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out.
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@onion_an: Dentist switches lamp on: "Now open wide" Moth dental assistant: *repeatedly flies into bulb* Dentist: "This has to stop Denise"
@Eagle_Vision: You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they are around your throat, she is probably upset at you.
@sixfootcandy: I carry around a fog machine so I can make a dramatic entrance every time I enter a room.