@TheCatWhisprer: The best thing about the first day at a new job is nobody knows I only have one outfit.
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@HomeProbably: The circus serves as a great analogy for marriage. You're either walking the tightrope or holding a chair because you told her to calm down.
@TampaBayMomma: My ex left me for an attorney. It makes me smile every day to know he hasn't won an arguement for 15 years.
@BrettDruck: I posted "I did it!!!" to Facebook and got a ton of congratulations but nobody realized I was confessing.
@aidanjsears: ME: i'm nervous WIFE: don't be. just be confident [later] BOSS: so do you think you'd be right for the job ME: *confidently* no