@TheCatWhisprer: The best thing about the first day at a new job is nobody knows I only have one outfit.
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@ArfMeasures: SKETCH ARTIST: *holds up drawing of a single bit of straw* CAMEL: [in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes] That's him!
@liv_thatsme: I never pay for pizza delivery. I always just say something weird like "I got this for us," & before I know it, they're speeding away.
@StayAwayy_: My mom voice was so loud even my neighbors washed their hands & cleaned their rooms😒😒