@SciencePorn: The best thing about the Pluto image from NASA is the silhouette of Pluto the dog right on it.
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@Bagyants: MSNBC: Racist gets what he deserves! FOX: What's next, thought crimes? CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird
@Reverend_Scott: Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession.
@Douchekevin: This hangover feels like the kids lunches are going to be a brown paper bag with a handful of change, and a note that says 'buy something'.