@simoncholland: The best thing to do with Christmas lights that don't work is put them back in the attic so they can frustrate you again next year.
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@JuliaChildCIA: "Hot damn!" - the Nazi's probably after their dams were destroyed. I don't know; I'm not a historian. It's just an educated guess.
@TheDairylandDon: Real men don't need guns. One time I beat a burglar to death with a sleeve of Ritz crackers and used the crumblings for a casserole crust.