@simoncholland: The best thing to do with Christmas lights that don't work is put them back in the attic so they can frustrate you again next year.
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@gg21462: The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing
@tastefactory: *cop sees chalk outline on family's driveway* "Damn, a cute bunny was murdered" "No, the kids who live here drew that, the body's over here"