@JasonLastname: The best trick to ordering pizza is asking them not to cut it. By law, they can only charge you for one slice.
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@TinaraMinus10: Hmmm, why don't we try reincarnation. Here, take this razor blade and I'll leave you alone for a few moments... -me as a therapist
@QwertyJones3: [Sci fi movie] How did you travel such a distance so fast? "I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.
@The1WhosCrazy: "MEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH THE GREEKS & MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL" "Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse" "Oh rad bring it in"