@omgthatspunny: The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
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@Donna_Gallers: Avoid the horror of watching your children’s nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend.
@brendohare: [evil villain turns around in chair to confront adversary but spins too fast and does two complete revolutions before talking]
@OutOnTheMoors: "Suddenly, my hair collapsed." - And I started to regret offering to edit my friend's first novel.