@lazerdoov: The best way to get over a cold is to get a younger hotter cold
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@pleatedjeans: [blind date] So,where you from? [eyes turn black] T h E S E v E n T H C i R C L e O F H e L L Oh nice. ever miss it? [cries blood] Y e s
@Jake_Vig: Is it just me, or are fewer and fewer mustachioed cads tying women to the train tracks these days?
@theedgeofchris: Dora the Explorer has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.