@lazerdoov: The best way to get over a cold is to get a younger hotter cold
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jergarl: Jocelyn from Facebook will unfriend you if you give her a Blockbuster gift card for her stupid baby shower. I know that now.
@envydatropic: Like my nana used to always say, "screen shots say more about the person sharing them than anything else"
@Jennco_W: Hey tampon makers, can I get a silent tampon wrapper please? Sounds like I'm opening a bag of Sun Chips up in here.
@ComedicBust: My uber driver's looking at me like he's never seen anyone eat a bowl of cereal in the back of his car before.