@Kelly_skeleton: The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
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@TheCatWhisprer: Made it to the level of old where I turned down a beer so it wouldn't mess with the aftertaste of the milkshake I just had.
@Lisa_Bizzle: Dating a guy with big hands is the best, at any time I can say "Babe, can you hold these 72 doll heads?" And he can, he can hold them all.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My Roomba sucked up some cocaine & cleaned the entire house in 5 mins. Now my jewelry's missing & the Roomba's trying to bang the blender.