@ObscureGent: The best way to get the woman of your dreams is to comment "gorgeous" on a minimum of 52 of her selfies.
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@samfromks: Heads up guys, if you ask your wife how to spell ménage à trois she's gonna want to know why.
@afairiesweetear: the most challenging thing I've done all week is explain to a 4 year old where he was in photos taken 7 years ago
@RandomAntics: My neighbors got so weird when I asked how many bodies they thought were buried in their yard. I meant roughly, not like an exact number.
@TheAlexNevil: Pro Tip: don't fall asleep during the middle of an argument with your spouse over whether or not you pay attention to her.