@ObscureGent: The best way to get the woman of your dreams is to comment "gorgeous" on a minimum of 52 of her selfies.
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me one of your long term goals" Sleeping "No, I meant-" *leans in way too close* My answer isn't going to change
@DaleInc: This drink tastes like the neighbors will be hearing late night small arms fire. I swear I just saw a coyote or a squirrel or a tree or a...