@Cheeseboy22: The best way to infuriate a mom is to open a second box of something when there's still a box of the same thing already open.
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@SodomyClown: I don't know what it means to "find your better half" but I hope my better half is a robot so that I can be half human half robot.
@doccy_style: Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they're concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
@iwearaonesie: *turns TV off* "THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!" - me every time I watch Toy Story 3
@CoolBabyRat: *mugger walks up* GIMME EVERYTHING YOU GOT! *mugger slowly walks away with $2.16 and a lifetime of anxiety & existential misunderstanding*