@kelkulus: The best way to meet new women is outside a sex change clinic.
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@theshamingofjay: *tries for a year to brush and floss better* *goes to dentist* Dentist: Do you even own a toothbrush?
@buhsbaby_baby: Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don't like.
@HairyJew4Life: Me: What's one thing you don't like about your girlfriend? Him: She doesn't swallow. Me: What? How does she eat?