@kelkulus: The best way to meet new women is outside a sex change clinic.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@flyafuckingkite: When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up? This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.
@Nickadoo: I wish my job was more like a video game. In order to be promoted to the next level, all I'd need to do is kill the boss.
@internetluke: [friend consoling me through bad break up] "You need to eat, Luke. You can't just sit there" *i start crying more* Karen & I used to eat
@WhatevaConc: Make it awkward today by asking people what they did for Valentine's Day. When they answer "dinner", you should say "no...after that".