@DonQuickoats: The best way to respond to a limp handshake is to tickle their palm with your middle finger
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trumpetcake: Spent the day dressed as a bee, gently bumping myself against my neighbor's sliding-glass door. Got the hose twice.
@cookiesnweed: Get your shit together, people at McDonald's drive thru who sit there all confused like the menu hasn't been the same for the last 50 years
@djdarrellripley: Her: Look at my new shoes! They light up when I walk away... Me: Doesn't everyone?
@Token_Geezer: Apparently, the sonogram machine is to see unborn babies in the womb I thought it was for making you age 10 years. Instantly