@DonQuickoats: The best way to respond to a limp handshake is to tickle their palm with your middle finger
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@Jenny4ashley: 1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There's no episode where a man asks a woman 'what's wrong?'
@hamishblake: Would love to see a reality show where they promise the prize will "change contestants lives FOREVER"...and it's a brain swap with a cow.
@lilgapeach32: Who decided "have a happy period" was an okay thing to put on a tampon box? "Manslaughter is illegal" would've been more relevant.
@daemonic3: Alex: A ship that has sunk What is my relationship? Alex: No sorry tha- [glares at wife] I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex