@samuelhlowe: The best way to return any clothing left at your place is to do a drive-by with a t-shirt gun on her wedding day.
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@Steelers1972: My superpower is destroying the neighbors living room from 100 yards with nothing but her cat and my laser pointer.
@bad_as_you_want: Found my 16yr old daughters Twitter today, made her deactivate it...after I copied all of her best material to my draft folder of course
@ShaneKnowsStuff: I don't know about you, but I always watch my garage door go all the way down in case a murderer tries to roll in at the last minute.
@Chel__CLE: Until a pregnancy test commercial involves a chick hysterically crying & screaming MY LIFE IS OVER, it's not real life.