@badAzz_mom: Sorry to the guy in the car having to witness me checking for boogers in his tinted windows.
@Bearslietoo: A good sign that you're not ready for children is if you cut your food with a credit card.
@1Happytwit: Some bloke on FB called me a clown. Now I've got to go hide under his bed with a knife cause that's what clowns do.
@UnfilteredMama: Friend w/o kids: I'm planning a meditation retreat next month.
Me: One of my kids has been shaking a metal tin full of coins FOR AN HOUR.
@ValeeGrrl: Husband: *hacks up lung* I think I'm comin down with something
Me: lol ok whatever
Kid: *tiny cough*
Me: OMG MY POOR BABY COME TO MOMMA
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