@lovemydogduck: The best way to tell someone you don't like them is to text them 370HSSV 0773H and tell them to read it upside down.
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@heykarlin: Gotta be tough for the guy somewhere who has to say "yeah, she left me for Charles Manson."
@Reverend_Scott: Recent studies link bacon to cancer. "Ya, don't eat bacon, you'll get so much cancer", said one pink scientist.