@TheTweetOfGod: The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.
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@MrJeberling: Once while eating bacon I said I was "getting piggy with it" and now I have no friends.
@noogscorner: Walk up to a girl, sniff her hair, and whisper "Perfect. Master will love you." This is a great way to increase your tolerance to Mace...