@TheTweetOfGod: The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.
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@C_J_Commode: I've reached the point of laziness where even laying around has become too much for me to handle.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Our daughter lied to me. Me: What did I tell you about telling the truth? 5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.
@flashember: ME: I have so many questions SOOTHSAYER: forsooth ME: Exactly lol S: SOOTH ME: Yeah so- S: Sooth? ME: You only say sooth eh S: *nods* sooth