@TheTweetOfGod: The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.
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@simoncholland: Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels.
@BareChesty: I just found out I passed my drug test.... Which means my dealer has some explaining to do.
@CherBear162: I can't believe the pharmacy hasn't called! "Oh they did..3 or 4 days ago..I forgot to tell you. What's it's for anyway?" Anxiety.