@TheTweetOfGod: "The Bible" running on the History Channel is like "Dragons" running on Animal Planet.
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@Swishergirl24: This frozen meal expects me to know what wattage my microwave is like I'm some kind of wizard.
@panmidwest: BOSS: quit listening to Vanilla Ice, participate in the meeting, and pay attention ME: so… stop, collaborate, and listen? BOSS: you're fired
@Brianhopecomedy: You ever had garbage in one hand but you accidentally throw out the thing that you want in your other hand? LOL. Anyways, the baby's ok.