@E_lok44: The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is.
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@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask "What kind of meat is that?" and they answer "yes"
@_davidlucas_: *Takes gift wrapping paper to the counter* Her: Did you want to buy that? Me: No, I just wanted to hold it for a while.
@JayCee302: Me: "I really like this car" Salesman: "Yeah and it also has a latch in case someone gets stuck in the trunk!" Me: "Eh, what else ya got?"