@E_lok44: The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is.
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@TheHyyyype: 16yo [talking w friend]: fam that's lit af, tell bae and the squad that it's on fleek PARENT: *calls 911* i think my kid's having a seizure
@ArfMeasures: ME: This house is haunted WIFE [sigh] We've been thru this, that's our son SON: I just have a pale complexion Dad ME: TELL ME YOU HEARD THAT
@jazmasta: Dear iPhone, I have typed "haha" like a million times, but yet you continually give me "haga", "hsha", "gaga", "hahss", "hahs" I hate you