@Marlebean: The biggest threat of punishment for my daughter is saying I'll pick out her clothes for school.
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@FeelingEuphoric: *flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here's the thi— *coughs for like ten minutes straight bc I've never smoked before*
@Ideal_Victoria: The good thing about being tall is, you can't get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can't get lost in a crowd.
@moose_chocolate: Autocorrect changed "you're so wise" to "you're so wide", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.