@omgthatspunny: The Black Death was the best disease. Any attempts to replicate it are just plague-iarism.
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@TheAlexP: Whenever I see a newspaper on a driveway, left out in the rain, I figure that house just forgot how to read.
@AaronFullerton: PET PEEVE: Why do we call them baby names? They're HUMAN NAMES. They don't expire as you grow up.
@carlyken: As you get older dating becomes a lot like Musical Chairs. The music stops, everyone sits down and you're left with the last idiot standing.
@dshack8: Given the number of tampon's wrappers in our trash either my wife is searching for the 1 with a Golden Ticket or shit just got real.