@omgthatspunny: The Black Death was the best disease. Any attempts to replicate it are just plague-iarism.
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@pleatedjeans: "Ostriches can't fly" said the totally racist stewardess who made me dismount my ostrich & board the plane on foot like a lowly commoner
@JohnHilsen: "There's no I in TEAM," he yells. "There's no COACH in LOCKER ROOM," I respond. He leaves in stunned silence, and is never seen again.
@LurkAtHomeMom: No thanks, I'm not hungry right now. I'll just wait until after you put it away and sit down. Then I'll have some. -kids