@omgthatspunny: The Black Death was the best disease. Any attempts to replicate it are just plague-iarism.
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@Lakelandr: There's never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself " thank god the cops are here"
@hammbone84: MY ROOMBA IS SOMEHOW LOOSE OUTDOORS AND I'M TERRIFIED OF THE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE ECOSYSTEM AS IT HAS NO NATURAL PREDATORS.
@VerifiedDrunk: If you love someone just tell them. Or get drunk and text them 75 times, that's practically the same thing.