@omgthatspunny: The Black Death was the best disease. Any attempts to replicate it are just plague-iarism.
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@JermHimselfish: If I ever found a unicorn it would probably only be about 5 minutes before I put it's horn in my mouth.
@grimpossible: If you fall down in public the best thing to do is stay down, use your fingernails to dig your way to another country then start a new life.
@InternetHippo: GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We— [pug walks by] GOD: What…the HELL…is that