@lilgapeach30: The black smoke coming from my toaster indicates a new pop tart has been selected!
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@leechee420: Friend asks me to be her maid of honor: M-What do I have to do? F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.
@CaseyMichelle__: Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn't doing his part of the chores around here