@LoveYoorFate: The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can't hear you" over and over
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@richardosman: My daughter is in China and sends me photos of mis-translations. This is my new favourite.
@smedlee: When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone.
@TheCatWhisprer: WIFE: you forgot to run the dishwasher again, didn't you? ME: [drinking milk from a flower vase] no, why?
@internetluke: GOD: welcome to Heaven I will answer any question you want now. ME: why does Target have 25 checkout lanes with only 2 always open? GOD: ...