@mockersofshoes: The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import)
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@SergioValenCo: If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
@Douchekevin: She blindfolded me and said she was going to put heaven on my lips. I asked what kind of pizza it was. I woke up outside with a concussion
@grimpossible: Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.
@chelliet22: Once I've repeated what I said for the third time, I have to tell my dark family secret: I come from a long line of mumblers.