@Cheeseboy22: The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
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@FrogAvalanche: Baby Lawyer: Did you steal the victim's nose? Accused: No. *cries into palms Baby Judge: O, great, he's disappeared again.
@WilliamAder: A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too.
@ThaJawn: *braids your voodoo doll's hair Me: HAHAHAHA! She will wake up and be like "who braided my hair" HAHAHAHA