@Laser_Cat: The British are coming! The British are coming! The British have to get up early! The British swear they'll call you in the morning!
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@KKAlThani: Probably the worst time to ask "shouldn't we go on a date first?" is after getting handcuffed by a police officer.
@iwearaonesie: wife *sees chair* [thinking] That would look great with the new rug in the living room me *sees chair* [thinking] Chair
@AdamTheLobster: [In bed with gf] "Do you have any fantasies?" Yeah, one. You know your friend Sarah, the hot one? "Yes.. why?" I want to hit her with my car