@robdelaney: The burrito I ate for lunch today just sent me a push notification.
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@Hormonella: Facebook is terrific way to connect with classmates who haven't aged as well as you.
@brian_bilston: There once was a poet on Twitter who grew increasingly bitter. He couldn't surmount the strict character count and so his poems got even shi
@ambermruffin: Now that the Statue of Liberty is dark, there's no way they're letting her into the U.S.
@SequelsWeWant: Batman V Superman 2: Both men agree their last battle was too destructive They settle their differences by playing Uno Loser leaves earth