@TheTalkingPipe: The cable guy said he'd be here sometime between 1:00 and April, 2016.
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@DaHess1: If you're a white guy and walk into Home Depot without wearing sunglasses on top of your head, they legally don't have to sell you anything.
@BlondAmbitionTO: When I die, before I'm cremated, fill me with popcorn kernels for one last laugh.
@DominicGraz: I used to think Urethra was the name of a heavy metal band, until I found out it was actually a brand of vacuum cleaner.
@junejuly12: Still waiting for a sexy butler who can make me a grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, and text with my mother.