@shegotagronk: The camera adds 10 pounds. The front facing iPhone camera adds 437 pounds.
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@doktorj: Ziiipppp, zip, zip, zip, ziiiipppp! *Me, dramatically ending a marital spat during a camping trip
@thesulk: Whenever teachers say 'show your work', just write a bunch of numbers down and hope they're tired that night.
@Barknado69: [The Price Is Right] Bob Barker: what do you think the price of this washing machine is Me:*lips firmly pressed to mic* Right
@krisv_723: I'm here to make a donation. Nun: Blessings, the orphans could use... *Shoving my kid at her- A brother? I'd like a receipt. For my taxes.