@DurtMcHurtt: The car you buy should say something about you, and not just ramble on about itself like you're not even there.
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@DiamondLou69: Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money.
@daemonic3: Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don't realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation.
@RdrJay47: Trainer: Why do you want to learn jujitsu? Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.