@briangaar: The cashier at the grocery store just gave me an "I'm cooler than you" look. Dude I will fight you with this baby strapped to me
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@Sickayduh: Christian epileptics don't appreciate when you tell them "Jesus is the reason for the seizin"
@djdarrellripley: Me: I grew a beard once & It actually looked just like yours. Him: Why'd you shave it off? Me: I just told you...
@mkpaulsen: I asked my friend if he wanted a drink and he said to surprise him so I brought back a side salad.