@Quartzjixler: The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said "Keep the change" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase.
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@onedumbshark: When my doctor diagnosed me with surrealism I didn't know what to candle wax forest upside down volcano coffin.
@iamburtjarvis: riddler: check out aquaman's new tweet: "on my way to destroy the legion of doom with fam" lex luthor: you follow aquaman? LOL others: LOL
@samfromks: Wife: Why the hell did you buy a buffalo? Me: I'd rather have a buffalo and not need it than need a buffalo and not have it.
@AbbyHasIssues: I can't remember why I walked into this room, but if you need to know the phone number of my best friend from fourth grade, I'm your gal.