@Quartzjixler: The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said "Keep the change" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase.
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@NEthingButWork: Dentist: How often do you floss? Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*
@mattZillaaaa: [job interview] "So we'll call you & let you know. Do you have any questions?" Yes, can you text me instead to let me know?