@Tmoney68: "The cat spilled water. Don't worry, your coloring book's fine" isn't a thing my gf thought she'd ever say to a grown man, but here we are.
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@Kris_Florio: "I'm so sorry about your grandma passing away. If there's anything I can do, just name it." "How are your resurrecting skills?"
@pinupteacher: The confused head tilt your dog does but me when someone asks me if I want fries or salad.
@murrman5: can you start monday at 8? "yes, thank you for the opportunity" [calls new boss at his home on sunday night] hello? "am or pm?"
@aPunch2theJunk: Ladies: If a man approaches you and he's wearing Crocs, hold perfectly still. Their vision is based off movement.