@katta_IoIkatt: The cats told me the reason we only have one life is because we're too stupid to handle nine lives. I believe this is true.
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@CatherineLMK: Be warned, person who set of a whole bunch of fireworks at 4 am--you've made a minimally powerful enemy.
@tpurvis06: Just watched a dog chase its tail for 10 min., thought "damn so easily entertained" then realized I watched a dog chase his tail for 10 min.
@ElKnuckelhombre: Doctor: Describe your headache. Me: She's about 5'8", blonde, and the mother of my children.
@bsnc64: "Here you go body some nutritious food, how bout some energy?" Body: "I shall make this into nose hair"