@PaulyPeligroso: The cheese grader saw me walk in the house with a bag of shredded cheddar and shit got real awkward.
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@Sickayduh: [Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza
@SteveSuckington: "You can have sex with my sister over my dead body" "Umm, I appreciate the weird offer, but I'm just gonna do it in my car"
@Brentweets: I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him
@MrJeberling: I got a shopping cart today with 4 working wheels, it was full of lingerie models and self confidence and I was dreaming