@farahfergie: The Cheesecake Factory had a "Help Wanted" sign. I was really disappointed that it wasn't to help eat the cheesecake. #FluffyChickProblems
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@girlontapas: He told me I was too pretty not to smile. So I flipped him off, tackled him and shoved my middle finger up his nose. Now I'm smiling.
@Kelly_skeleton: Asked my daughter to get me a glass of water & she brought me a glass of wine....she's either Jesus or I gotta remember the lies I tell her