@farahfergie: The Cheesecake Factory had a "Help Wanted" sign. I was really disappointed that it wasn't to help eat the cheesecake. #FluffyChickProblems
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@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'How will I know when I'm an adult?' and I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'
@FloodyHippie: You don't need to put "narcissist" in your bio. This is twitter, that shit goes without saying.