@Hobo_Splendido: The Church used to teach that all babies that die go to Limbo, but it was easy for them because they're so short.
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@lawrence_bear: Apparently sleeping your way to the top, doesn't mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
@simoncholland: My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it's my fault.
@ComedicBust: We kissed. We undressed. I felt her heart beat. I used her bathroom. I saw Colgate toothpaste. I left. We never spoke again.
@alli_win: I'm convinced that Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.