@HomeProbably: The circus serves as a great analogy for marriage. You're either walking the tightrope or holding a chair because you told her to calm down.
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@MarfSalvador: [Bedroom] Him: *Panting* I swear I usually last much longer than that Her: Sure you do Him: Time me *holds breath again*
@markleggett: HOBBIES INCLUDE: - Whispering dark secrets to animals - Trying to get a strawberry seed out of my teeth - Being vegan, but also eating steak
@bobvulfov: FACEBOOK: yo remember ur ex from 2 years ago? look at this photo of u together ME: facebook no FACEBOOK: k heres ur dog who died 5 years ago
@ImNotThatJohn: Coconut oil on my dry skin this winter has made me attractive to women. Problem is the chocolate from the Mounds bars is ruining my clothes.