@HomeProbably: The circus serves as a great analogy for marriage. You're either walking the tightrope or holding a chair because you told her to calm down.
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@KrunkedRobot: A kid at the park is wearing a Joker shirt, I am going to slowly take my coat off revealing my Batman T and shit is about to get real.
@GrabTheWEness: I lost 30 lbs, and did it without exercising or changing my diet! Ask me how. Not right now, though. I'm waiting for my meth dealer to call.
@SonOfCha: They say if you ever get attacked by a shark you should punch it in the nose which is easy cause imagine how composed you would be.
@pancakemixtape: It's like these credit card companies don't even care that I'm an electric accordionist for South Dakota's finest heavy metal parody band.