@Brianhopecomedy: The city I live in has the highest rate of stalkings in Canada. I told a girl at the grocery store this. Then I told her at the gym.
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@BerrryDLite: Coworker: My arms are killing me from hoeing in my garden this weekend. Me: Thanks but I'd rather not hear about your sex life.
@AngelaEhh: It'd be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
@kelkulus: I like how Subway sells "healthy footlong" sandwiches, as if anything is healthy when you're eating it by the foot.