@markydoodoo: The closest I get to exercising is when I trip on the sidewalk and pretend jog for like 10 feet.
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@kelkulus: Rather than buy a gun, I've been studying "Home Alone" and now defend my home with marbles and old gangster movies.
@Underchilde: If I ever commit suicide, I wanna jump off a cliff w/an open umbrella so people wonder if I thought it would bring me safely to the ground.
@causticbob: Just heard that someone has started digging Fidel Castro's grave.. Must be a communist plot.
@DanMentos: [guy from the 50s arrives in a time machine] "Who's president?" Barack Obama "Braco? Sounds Mexican" Nope "Whew" You might want to sit down