@markydoodoo: The closest I get to exercising is when I trip on the sidewalk and pretend jog for like 10 feet.
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@SortaBad: College: Now that you're making tons of money with your degree, please donate back to us every year Me: lol College: lol ikr?
@BeerOholic: Warning to ppl who drink & drive, yday while driving, frnd took his arm out to indicate right turn & someone took his beer. Rascals! #txt
@3sunzzz: The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
@QuietPsycho: HR: know why you're here? Me: I put my tongue in the candy cutter Union: well..unsafe..but fired? HR: the candy cutter's name is Trish