@lizetagge: The closest I've been to murder is holding my choco-chip cookie under the milk until the bubbles stop...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SadieSkyNinja: My favorite part about ordering a salad on the first date is going into the bathroom and eating 6 mini donuts.
@Brianhopecomedy: My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn't even come close to my 5 year old's reaction when I told him that there's no school today.
@THEDUTHCHESS: Woke up last night and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing over my bed. At first I was afraid, i was petrified.