@lizetagge: The closest I've been to murder is holding my choco-chip cookie under the milk until the bubbles stop...
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@SSDated: Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!
@CornOnTheGoblin: [pretends my phone rings while on date] i gotta take this. hello? oh hi [watches date for reaction]... the teenage mutant ninja turtles
@TheBoydP: God making Khaki God: I want a material that can be dressed up or dressed down Angel: Nice! G: But it shows every pee drip A: Hilarious!