@3sunzzz: The closest I've ever come to being a 'hunter and gatherer' is opening my own pistachios.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Time for bed Brain: Ok Brain: PSST. EVER WONDER IF EARTH'S TECTONIC PLATES WON'T BE ABLE TO SUPPORT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ON EARTH?!
@robdelaney: Always have a fake name at the ready so you don't tell the cops something stupid, like "Andrew Granola."
@Lani_Hayden: Is amazed how I go to bed with normal hair and wake up looking like a beat up version of medusa. Am I fighting crime in my sleep? Wtf.
@ParentNormal: VOICEMAIL: I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, my toddler typed the wrong password 200 times so I can't try again until next year