@SoulYodeler: The clowns I hire always seem surprised to find I'm the only party guest.
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@Underchilde: My parents are in town and said they’d be at my house in ten minutes, and I’m wondering if that’s enough time to build a moat.
@lizetagge: Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
@LuvPug: The best part of the Titanic is when Rose is holding onto Jack and she's all like, 'I'll never let go' and then she lets go.