@SoulYodeler: The clowns I hire always seem surprised to find I'm the only party guest.
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@BossyBritches72: Dog keeps sighing melodramatically. I know he wants me to ask him what's wrong, but I'm not falling for it.
@stevevsninjas: Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects. Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed.
@ThisOneSayz: Boss: this project is moving along at a snail's pace!! *silence* Todd the snail: This is bullshit *spends 3hrs storming out of meeting*