@omgthatspunny: The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his way to a comedy gig. He was looking for new material.
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@mstluvstrinkets: People dating on the internet have it so easy. Back in my day, a man would walk uphill both ways in the snow to disappoint a woman.
@Dutch_50: Headline: "Russian Jet Shot Down by Turkey" My 1st thought was, "Holy shit the bird has gone Rambo." I must have Thanksgiving on my mind.