@kyry5: The Constitution has barely been altered in 200 years, but my $300 textbook is worth $0.82 bc they came out with a new edition mid-semester.
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@shawnspree: Friend: How many calories does heartache burn? Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.
@shawnries: Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.
@GrumpyComments: If a villain really wanted to kill James Bond, he should just inject HIV into one of his attractive cohorts and then wait.