@kyry5: The Constitution has barely been altered in 200 years, but my $300 textbook is worth $0.82 bc they came out with a new edition mid-semester.
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@loudmouth_usa: 1) Pull black socks to knees 2) Wear sandals 3) Wear Magnum PI shorts 4) Make ball sack slightly visible -Grandpa's guide to lawn mowing
@monks_19: If McDonalds sold hot dogs would you be able to (w/ a straight face) order a McWeiner and tell them to supersize it?
@ItsAndyRyan: 4yo daughter: No matter how much I wipe there's still poo Me: *blocking people on twitter* Same, baby