@IamEnidColeslaw: The Constitution says nothing about it being illegal for cats to carry firearms and this worries me immensely.
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@novicefather: I remember back when I had to charge my Nokia 8210 once every 96 days. My iPhone lost 4% just typing this tweet.
@rocket_roy: [Lizard Enterprises HQ] Lizard Boss: Um excuse me, do you work here? Snake balancing on 4 toothpicks (nervously): Uh yessir why do you ask?
@scorpiusryan21: Surprised to hear five people were shot at a Chris Brown show, most notably because why were there that many people at a Chris Brown show?
@Jake_Vig: HER: I don't know what you'd do without me. ME: HER: Please stop imagining all those things. ME: Ok.