@robdelaney: The contents of my son's last diaper was so upsetting to both of us we shared a cigarette after I changed it.
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@Bizarro_Mark: I'll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I'll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can't reach the remote.
@Papa_Mex: Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don't realize how bad it is for their health.....until I'm choking them
@Gooooats: That will be $6.34, and would you like to donate a dollar to the children's hospital or do you prefer being judged by a Taco Bell employee?
@Dr_awfulpants: *calls Rosetta Stone* Yes hi I was wondering if you had a course on body language *my friend choking on buffalo wings clutches his throat*