@robdelaney: The contents of my son's last diaper was so upsetting to both of us we shared a cigarette after I changed it.
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@KeetPotato: baby moses: [crying] mum: "why wont he stop" dad: "throw him in the river lol" mum: "okay" this is from a book called the bible
@robdelaney: "Bartender, see that brunette at the end of the bar? I'd like you to bring her a slice of your finest ham."