@elle91: The cool thing about robbing a library is that you have two weeks before they notice.
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@JohnFugelsang: Welcome to America, where the politicians we dislike 'flip-flop on issues' but the politicians we like 'evolve.'
@Marlebean: I just plugged the charger into my phone, in the correct hole, on the first try. So it IS possible, guys. IT. IS. POSSIBLE.
@IAmKashWah: Interviewer: How do you hit those high notes? Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me? Adam Levine: Practice.
@Brianhopecomedy: I want to be important enough to receive a phone call, say one word, hang up and having the end result being something blown up.