@weinerdog4life: The cops said 911 was for emegencies only and not for me to report suspicious looking clouds.
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@TheHyyyype: [knock on door] JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: do you have a few minutes to talk about jesus? ME (hates gossip): no
@rachellinfox: When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?!? Now I would date him for the prescriptions.
@sammontgomery: Cashier at McDonalds said "See you later" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch.