@weinerdog4life: The cops said 911 was for emegencies only and not for me to report suspicious looking clouds.
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@mjkspeaks: The worst thing about life is getting comfortable and then realizing that you don't have the remote.
@jonnysun: look. life is bad. evryones sad. we're all gona die. but i alredy bought this inflatable boumcy castle so r u gona take ur shoes off or wat
@dril: my garbage family is staging an intervention or something for me because i forgot what its called when people have a chin made out of hair
@murrman5: [looks up from laptop while updating résumé] son, you're good with computers "I'm alright" how do I find pictures of mean looking dinosaurs?