@weinerdog4life: The cops said 911 was for emegencies only and not for me to report suspicious looking clouds.
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@shahrouzt: The amount of times I've had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
@TheCatWhisprer: Just Friends is my favorite movie that shows fat guys how to get out of the friendzone through perseverance and becoming Ryan Reynolds.
@MsCassieDaniels: Disease doesn't care if you are a celebrity, Micheal J. Fox has battled Parkinson for 22 years, and Jamie Lee Curtis is super irregular!