@weinerdog4life: The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.
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@OurMarketingGuy: Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
@0point5twins: Anyone got a 10 year old daughter I could introduce as mine? Stuck in an elaborate lie after putting my music on shuffle at a party.
@TitansHomer: Guess what! Some blacks don't like whites, some whites don't like blacks! And nobody likes Mexicans! Big deal! Who cares!