@weinerdog4life: The cops say I have to stop trying to fist fight the guy who tries to feed my house letters everyday.
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@pattymo: GOOD COP: Crazy girlfriend? I know how THAT is BAD COP: He's trying to get on your side so you confess GOOD COP: Jesus Christ, Frank
@better_off_dad: HR: Know why we called you down? Me: Hmm...a raise? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to report a hacking!